When school finished in the Spring, everyone was worried about finding a job. Stress levels were high, some people had gotten on the list for my city's school board, but most people hadn't. It didn't look good for me, because I was about 4 months behind everyone else, in terms of my applications being sent in. The horrid experience I'd gone through with my first placement had made an impact on when and where I could apply for jobs. But, by the time school ended I had 2 great evaluations in my possession, and a half dozen references that would be willing to gloat about me, should a principal call them. But, how's a principal going to call my references unless I get an interview? And how am I going to get an interview if a) there are no jobs being posted, and b) I'm not on the Eligible to Hire list in Toronto? The situation, to the untrained eye, was hopeless.

But I had a peace about it. I wasn't worried about not finding a job. I knew it would happen eventually, and that teaching is what I was meant to do. I knew I would get a job eventually, but I had no idea where and I had no idea for what subjects I'd end up teaching, and I didn't know if it would be in the fall, or next year, or if it would be a permanent position or a Long Term Occassional (LTO). There were so many unknowns, and yet, there was this peace that allowed me not to stress or freak out about my future employment. Truth be told, it hardly crossed my mind. I would check job postings every morning and every afternoon, but that was about it.

This was a difficult summer for me in many respects, following The Breakup. I had some difficulty and struggled a bit, moving on, getting over, putting the past behind me. I got to watch The Ex turn into someone else over the internet, and that experience provided me with a jumble of emotions - I was confused and a little hurt, that he didn't seem to look back, but I was also relieved that he wasn't "mine" and I didn't have to worry about him "going astray" while he was away for the summer, overseas. The reasons for our breakup lingered, however, and I became quite disenchanted with my faith, and I developed this passive-aggressive attitude and I detached myself  when it came to my relationship with God. I took every opportunity I could to proclaim my misunderstanding of His law, my disagreement with it, my frustration with it, and I would tell anyone who would listen that I was following blindly - not because I agreed, but because I had to.

Needless to say, I was doing what I was told out of obedience, out of my fear of God, not because I believed that God's rule was what's best for me. I didn't believe that His rule was what was best for me - and again, I told everyone who would listen. Rebellion was my middle name there, for a while.

All summer long I attended a Bible Study, the same as last summer - same girls, same location, different book. We read Romans, for the record. One of the Bible Study group members is one of the most passionate Christians I know, and I learned from her this summer the power of humble and bold prayer. We have a routine at our sessions that at the end we offer prayer requests, each asking for a specific prayer (or two), and then we pray for each other. My prayer requests this summer were kind of all over the place in terms of what I was asking for, but I guess in terms of "prayer requested most often" it was for a job in the fall. The girls were very good about asking that I be placed where God wanted me to be, and that I would have patience, but most of all, Trust in Him.

On my own, outside of the study, I was following the lead of that passionate group member I mentioned. I didn't know how to start, but each night I told God how undeserving I knew I was, that after all He's blessed me with that I knew I had nerve to ask for more, but I said, "Lord, as humbly as I possibly can, I kneel before You, BOLDLY asking, in the name of Jesus, alongside the Holy Spirit, for a job in the Toronto board. Father, You know my heart, and only You know the plans You have for me. If You need and want me in the board, Father, find a way to put me there. I'm not on the list, Lord, but you know where my strengths lie, and you know what subjects I want, and you know where I can make the most impact and change. Father, Your will be done. Amen."  I prayed this as often as I could, every time I remembered. Before bed every night.

September rolled around. Labour Day. Then the first day of school. No job. Not an interview, not a call. I registered in another AQ course, Intermediate English, that was to start the last Tuesday in September. I figured, if I'm jobless, I may as well be productive in terms of my qualifications.

Mid-September, a job posting came up that was perfectly suited to me, in a board just outside of Toronto. I'd done a placement at the school and in the department that the posting was for. It was for Fashion (sewing) and History. Both my teachables. I knew the school, the community, the kids, and my potential department head - she was my Associate Teacher, and one of my references on my resume. I knew I'd have support at the school if I got the job. But I felt sick when the posting came up, as well as the opportunity to apply to it, because it looked like it was perfect for me.... but it didn't feel right and I didn't want it. I straight up didn't want to teach there. I didn't want those subjects. And here it was, a job, a PAYING TEACHING JOB, practically on a silver platter, catered especially for me. I applied twice: once to the school through email, and once through sending my resume and cover letter to my AT at her request, so she could put it on the principal's desk herself. I prayed about it HARD. I prayed, "Lord, You know my heart. If it's for me, it will happen. If it isn't, Father, don't even let me get an interview. Above all else, Your will be done." And then I waited. And waited. And I never got a phone call, not even for an interview. It wasn't meant to be. Praise God. I never had a peace about it. I had anxiety, I had fear, I had dread at the thought of working there - not because of the school, its staff, the students... just because it didn't feel right for me.

Around this time, I had a chat with my friend about her sister. Without getting into any very specific details, she explained to me how her sister was suffering because she hadn't been repentant about her wicked, sinful ways. She knew God loved her, that she was forgiven and saved, but she wasn't humble enough to admit her wrongdoing, actually convinced she had done no wrong, or perhaps unwilling to apologize for something she didn't feel bad for. It was then that something clicked in me. I realized what I had done. I realized that I followed God's will for me during The Breakup, and that I had taken pride in being a witness to The Ex, and in following God instead of The World when I had to make a tough decision. But I realized that I had done a lot of damage. During the months following The Breakup, even at Bible Study, I did damage to my witness of God's action in my life. With each mention of how much I disagreed with His rules, with each proclamation that I felt it wasn't fair, that it was wrong, that it was stupid (oh yes, I said it), I was spitting on that witness, of all He's done for me, and I was tearing all the blocks I'd assembled down, doing more damage and destruction than good. I hadn't praised God for getting me out of a [spiritually] dangerous situation, instead I'd spit in His face. This clicked and my prayer focus changed; I started to repent, which BY THE WAY is incredibly difficult and embarrassing. It was the best thing God's ever revealed to me.

I started my course. I went to the dentist for the last time before my insurance expired under my dad's health plan. I turned 25 on October 4th, and that was the day I was on my own, health insurance-wise. I was no longer a dependent of my parents by law, and yet here I was asking them to help me pay my credit card bill.

On October 7th, I got a phone call from someone who said they were calling on behalf of the Toronto board and a school [not named here, kthanks]. She said she had my resume in front of her, that their school was looking for a History/Family Studies/English teacher. She called to ask if I'd be interested in doing a board interview and a job interview, a two-in-one deal (to get me on the Eligible to Hire so that if they wanted me, they could hire me). When I managed to pick my jaw up off the floor and swallow my heart from out of my throat, and scrape my brain matter off the ceiling and mold it back into a cohesive unit suitable for re-placement within my cranium, I said, "Of course I would!" We set the interview time for the following day, 24 hours later, at 2:30 on October 8th. I went to dinner and a movie that night with my Yest Friend to celebrate my birthday, and then I came home and studied my rear off for the interview.

I went to the interview the next day a ball of nerves. I felt thisclose to death, convinced anxiety was going to kill me. I prayed my entire way to the school, about 25 minutes away by car. I prayed that the questions I'd studied the night before would be the ones they asked me. I prayed that I wouldn't pass out. I walked into the school, praying. And as I sat in the main office, waiting for the interview, my anxiety went away. I was at home; it felt right. I knew this job was mine. I went into the VP's office and nailed the interview. I'd been lucky enough to have the interview questions sent to me by a friend who'd been through the process - and each question I'd studied for was asked of me. The VP told me that it depended on how quickly the board worked, but it could be as early as the next day when they would call to let me know their decision. I walked out happy, fulfilled, confident, but so in awe of what had transpired over 24 hours, and completely amazed at how quickly my life was changing.

The job was for a permanent, full-time, contract position teaching History (the course that made me want to be a teacher), English (the course I'm taking online right now), and Social Science (not sewing, not nutrition). All these, and in the board that was my number one choice.

On my drive home from the interview, I opted to go to Church to praise God with my pastor, instead of going straight home. He needed to know how forcefully God was working in my life, because he'd been there through almost everything that had gone on over the past 6 or 7 months. I told him the story, we prayed together, and then I went home. I got home at about 4:40. At 5:25 the phone rang, and the call display said the name of the school. The VP was on the other end, and she said, "I guess the board is working very quickly because they know I want to offer the position to someone right away. They've processed your responses, and I'd like to offer you the position". Without a word of a lie, the first words out of my mouth were, "ARE YOU KIDDING?" She assured me she wasn't, and after I gleefully accepted the position, she explained the process of paper work at the board, and congratulated me, and told me I'd had glowing reviews from the reference of mine she'd called.

When I hung up, I danced downstairs to the livingroom to tell mom and Wayne. We cried tears of absolute joy. My life hasn't been the same since.

This, my friends, was an answer to a very specific prayer. Everything I wanted, everything I hoped for, is mine. This was an impossible situation, that was never going to happen for me. I wasn't on that list. I knew no one in a position of authority who could pull strings for me. People, these are the exact, specific things I prayed for! This is prayer answered! This is everything I wanted! This is why God gave me peace in the Spring, because this job was meant for me, but that it would have to be in His perfect timing.

The Lord is good, my friends.

I am teaching the subjects I love, and I'm at a school that is filled, top to bottom with the most incredible, supportive, and helpful staff. Everyone is SO NICE. The kids are sweet (they're still warming up, but have been nothing but nice and respectful) and I'm on a learning curve so steep that I'm learning something new every hour. I love it. I love every minute of it. I don't love the anxiety that I get some days, but it goes away when I walk in the front doors of the school. I'm blessed, my friends. Everything is wonderful, and all the glory, all the praise, goes to my God. Through Him ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

STOP DOUBTING AND BELIEVE.

xo Heather